The Everyday “I do’s”

Valentine’s Day.

For some people this is a day they look forward to because it’s a day they get to share with a loved one while for others, this is a day they dread because it reminds them that they’re single or in other words, “forever alone”.

For some it’s filled with flower bouquets, chocolates and fancy dinners while for others it’s filled with chick flicks alone in bed, a table for one and chocolates bought for oneself.

Well, this post is for everyone out there. Whether you’re married, in a complicated relationship, single or dating.

Here, I share with you some random thoughts, poems, articles, writings about different kinds of love. Note: I’m not much of a writer and so this is a big step out “into the light” for me. And yes, they’re quite, personal, I know. But I believe these are thoughts and feelings that need to be shared because who knows? You might have felt the same way too.

And so I give you a glimpse into my little world of love that has brought both pleasure & pain.

***

What Love Feels Like

I wonder what love feels like.

I wonder how it feels

To think about someone

To have someone greet you goodmorning and goodnight

To have someone hold your hand

To hear someone say ‘I miss you’

To have someone be your plus one

To have someone you can spoil

To have someone you can cuddle with

To have someone you can call your ‘partner’.

I wonder how it feels to have someone who won’t make you second guess if you’re pretty enough, good enough or smart enough to be loved.

But hey, I’d like to think I am already loved.

Loved by my own self.

How about you?

***

I Fell in Love with Him like How You Learn to Ride a Bike

I fell in love with him like how you learn to ride bike.

At first, you start slow. You’re extra careful because even with the training wheels, you feel that at any moment you could fall. You’re wearing a helmet and those elbow and knee pads for extra safety just in case you lose control or take a wrong turn. And you make sure your dad is always beside you, ready to catch you when you fall.

When you start getting the hang of things, you ask your dad to watch you from a distance. You start peddling a little faster knowing that the helmet and pads will protect you. Hell, you even have training wheels and so you know balancing won’t be a problem.

Then, you get a little more confident. You ask your dad to take off the training wheels. First, you start out slow and you notice it’s a little harder without them, but you take a chance and ride it out. You fall a few times but you realize that it doesn’t hurt so bad. You start to peddle faster and you learn that it actually makes balancing a lot easier.You now feel the wind through your hair and enjoy the feeling.

Now, you don’t bother to put on your helmet or your knee pads. You run out the door, grab your bike and just go. Because you’re not afraid. In fact, you’re brave. Brave to the point that you’ve become reckless. You jump head first because you’re so willing to take the risk. And so when you do, you give it your all and just fall.

And that’s exactly what I did. I just fell.

I fell for you.

***

How Do I Say ‘I love you’

How do I say I love you without lifetime guarantee no mention of forever between you and me?

How do I say I need you, all your flaws all your fears?

How do I say please stay ’til morning? Please don’t disappear.

What do I say when what I feel for you is more than what I had planned?

That I bravely crossed the line and there’s no more going back

What if this is what its come to taking chances, taking falls?

When I say I love you, will you answer my call?

***

“I Hate You” I said.

I’m nothing more than your ‘right now’. 

Is that all I’m worth?

Should I dare go for you ‘forever’?

Or maybe it’s just pointless.

And so I’ll tell you that I hate you

I hate how happy you make me with just a simple “hello”.

I hate how I catch you staring at me, smiling.

I hate how you tell me to take care of myself.

I hate how perfect it feels when we’re together.

I hate how I feel pain and you feel nothing.

I hate how I imagine a future with you, a future I may never even be part of.

But most of all, I hate how I can’t hate you.

I hate how I love you too much that it kills me everyday.

It’s not fair. It will never be fair. And so maybe I should just accept it. 

Because loving you is all I’ll ever know.

***

Lover or Career?

This has been a reason for conflict among couples for ages.

Let’s say you want to travel abroad to pursue your dream but your partner has no plans of going abroad.

So what do you do? Do you choose to go abroad to pursue your career or do you stay, for him/her?

Well, first of all, a partner who really cares about you should be a source of inspiration, not a distraction. He/she should make you want to fulfill your dreams, not give them up.

Secondly, he/she shouldn’t make you dread the days ’til you leave but instead make you look forward to it. This isn’t easy, but if he/she really loves you, he/she would make every day count instead of making you feel bad until you have to get on that plane and go.

Third, a partner who really loves you should remind you to stay on track and to keep in line with your goals. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone who says “Baby, don’t forget about your workshop today.” or “Hey, I found this class you could take that could help you when you’re studying abroad.” or “Babe, don’t forget to send your application today!” Those are the makings of a great boyfriend/girlfriend and not just that but a partner for life. He/She’s showing you that he/she wants you to succeed even if it’s hard for her/him to see you go.

Fourth, a partner who really loves you would never ever ever ever ask you to stay for him/her. Why? Because your partner should know just how bad you want this, how bad you want to get out there to fulfill your dreams and at the same time.

Honestly, no matter what, you should always put yourself and your dreams first because you only get one shot. And when it’s time for your partner to take his/her own shot, you’ll be there too.

So what should you choose, lover or career? Well, I say… why not both? I believe that if you really want something, you’ll work for it. And that when two people really love each other, they’ll always find a way, even when they’re 5896539238901 miles apart.

***

This is How I’ll Love You

I am not perfect.

Please don’t expect me to be.

I will make mistakes. I will do stupid things that I will regret the morning after. I will be stubborn and reckless and mean. I will forget the things you say and I will always say I’m right.

But if there’s one thing I can do, it’s to promise to love you with all that I am.

I promise to greet you every morning and every night.

I promise to say sorry (eventually) after every fight.

I promise to support you in all your endeavors, even if it means time taken away from me.

I promise to always tell you about my day and to ask you about yours.

I promise to sing to you and dance with you when you ask me to (even if I end up looking awkward and silly).

I promise to listen to all your rants & problems even when you’re whiney.

I promise to make up with you and never let a fight last too long.

I promise to go on all kinds of adventures with you, even if it’s just a trip to the nearest Burger King.

I promise to kiss all your tears away when you feel like you’re breaking down.

I promise to appreciate you, all your efforts, all your acts of love.

I promise to keep you on track when you’re falling behind, even if it means pushing you to your limits.

I promise to never forget you, even if one day, we may have to go our separate ways. *knocks on wood*

Cause that’s what true love is, that despite everything, despite time, distance and circumstance, you still choose to love the person, no matter what.

***

A Little More Time

All I need is just a little more time

A little more time to hold you

Cause even if I have a lifetime

Forever doesn’t even seem long enough

And all I ask is just a little more time

A little more time to love you

***

The Everyday “I Do’s”

Love is about the everyday ‘I do’s’.

It’s not “make a choice now, go with the flow forever”.

Love is about choosing your person everyday.

Why?

Because love isn’t perfect.

Love isn’t some fairytale story about true love that lasts forever.

You work hard for real love.

Love isn’t about the choice you made but the choices you make everyday.

Because love has it’s good days and it’s bad days.

During the bad days, you may feel like giving up.

Like moving on to someone else would make things easier.

Or ending everything would put your stress to rest.

No.

If you really love your person and want the relationship to work, then choose you person.

Every single damn day.

Even on the bad days when you don’t feel the spark anymore or you don’t feel excitement anymore.

Because I swear if it’s real love, it’s there.

It will always be there.

You just have to open your eyes and see it.

Life gets in the way all the time but that doesn’t give you a reason to quit.

Because when you truly love someone, it isn’t just for a week or just a day,

it’s forever.

***

Life is hard.

Sometimes, life makes you want to close up your heart and be selfish.

But whatever you do, don’t.

Always always choose to love.

***

Hope you enjoyed my short love post 💕 And I hope you guys are all having a great Valentine’s day! (Even if you’re one of those who call this day ‘Single- Awareness Day’ 😉 cause hey, I’ve been there)

Don’t forget to spread the love! 💘

leadiiinglady xx

Follow me on:

Instagram: @leadiiinglady

Twitter: @leadiiinglady

Stay tuned for my next post:

10 different lipstick shades & how to rock ’em 😉💄

Disclaimer: These are my perosnal works and opinions 🙂